I learned last night that it's best for me and anyone else around me that I permanently refrain from doing anything physical whatsoever. Walking might even be too much for me.
Yesterday evening we took the kids to the local water park. We had purchased season tickets as a gift to the kids but we hadn't gotten to go yet. It was the perfect afternoon. The weather was warm but not humid. The first "cool" day we've had in weeks. The park was closing in two hours which is the perfect amount of time for me. It was just the right conditions.
It took me exactly one hour to hurt myself bad enough to have me sobbing. I can't even manage not to get hurt in WATER. With hundreds of non-hurt, some, very tiny children around me. I think my body hates me.
The entire family ended up on a group of slides where you sit on a mat. Skyler went ahead of me on this slide. I started down and was having a grand old time when I whipped around a corner, whacked my head and my bad shoulder HARD against the side of the slide. When I tipped over I lost my mat and suddenly Skyler was right in front of me. I was terrified I was going to crash into her so I was trying to slow myself down. I dumped into the pool mat-less and holding onto my shoulder which felt like it had been ripped apart and immediately started sobbing. I scared the crap out of the teeny lifeguard. I told her that I was fine. Got out and sat on a bench and just sobbed envisioning surgery and the guts of my shoulder being torn to threads. It hurt to touch it. Matt sat with me for a long time. The kids kept going up and down the slide of death (which is in reality safe for toddlers) while I cried.
That was the end of fun at the water park for me. I took on the roll of watcher of fun. When we got home I discovered that my shoulder joint is mostly fine. I have an enormous bruise on the outside and the skin is tender to the touch. I think it will eventually be fine. I'm probably also concussed but a whack to the side of the head is probably good for me at this point.
I got a lot of teasing about just trying to find myself a good nursing home and calling it a life. I mean if I can't hack the water park for one hour, I probably shouldn't be driving a car :-) Maybe a permanent dressing of bubble wrap will do the trick?