I love you so much but I just don't think we're right for each other anymore. You bring out the chubby side of me and it's just got to stop. I'll always fondly remember our times together. This hurts me more than it hurts you so please be understanding and don't make this hard on either of us. Please don't worry that I'll be batting for the other team, Pepsi, I'm going for water. Water brings out the best in me and that's really what I need right now.
I'll love you forever. Smooches,