Happy New Year!
I would have written sooner, but I had to declare a do-over, and in all honesty get in the mood where I didn't want to dive under the blankets and hibernate the remainder of 2012's winter away. Thank you to my dear friend, M, for that. She talked me off the ledge this afternoon, told me to make a list, calmed me down and WHEW. That was close.
I usually look forward to a new year. We wipe the slate clean and go out into the world with a fresh new attitude. I let Matt talk me into a New Year's Eve party which, as you know, gets my anxiety revved into high gear. To make it super awesome, my Mom had a 6:30am flight the next morning. I did it, I went to the party (for a bit), got to bed at a reasonable time, kicked the drive to the airport and back in the ass and spend the next two days just enjoying the inside of my house, games with the kids, movies, books, not going anywhere. And THEN, bright and early on Tuesday morning (10:15), Skyler was diagnosed with the chicken pox. Why yes, she did have the vaccine. Why yes, she was at both a birthday party full of kids and a New Year's Eve party on Saturday. Why yes, I am immuno-compromised. Why yes, the pediatrician did recommend that I "remain distant" from my itching 8 year-old. Oh yup, 2012 was starting off great. Chicken pox notwithstanding, I felt defeated and like my great new start had been jacked out from under me and the same old usual bullshit was piled up where it always is.
I called all the appropriate people, the parents of the birthday party goers, the school nurse, her teacher, my Rheumatologist, my Mommy. There seems to be a bit of an outbreak in our area, the health department is tracking it (oh goody). My RA doctor was the first to set my mind at ease. He doesn't think it's likely I'll get shingles. Oh tunnel is that a light?
I declared Wednesday, January 4th 2012, a do-over. Happy New Year. Today is the first day of a new year. We're going to get through the chicken pox. We're not going into a death spiral of anxiety and depression. DO YOU HEAR ME 2012? I declare it.