Monday, May 07, 2012
Things I'm Afraid to Tell You...
1. This is the big "in the closet" type of secret that probably all of you know, but I don't think I've ever come out and said on the blog. I'm an atheist. There it is, my big confession. I don't think it's a big deal, but whoooo daddy you wouldn't believe what a big deal others think it is. I don't believe in gods (or satan). I believe in science and free thought and kindness and doing the right thing and helping others. I believe in teaching my children those things and I believe we're doing a pretty damn good job at it. I was raised Catholic and no I never had a particularly bad experience, I just never (ever) believed any of it. I respected the way I was raised and for a while tried to go along with the idea of organized religion but as soon as I had my own children, I knew I couldn't pretend anymore. First I told my husband, who was raised a non-denominational Christian but was non-practicing, and then we decided to just raise our children the best we could and take things as they came. His beliefs have changed over time, but I promised myself I would never try to influence him. We've had some wonderful discussions. Our children have been mocked by others in their classes and have been told that our beliefs are wrong but have had every one of their questions answered as best as we could and have never, as far as I know, ever mocked another child for what they believe. We've taught and explained other religious beliefs and purchased books and just tried to be understanding. I think our kids will grow up to be open-minded wonderful children. I hope you see that too.
2. I see a therapist once per week. I worry about a lot of things and I have anxiety and get overwhelmed easily. I think I manage it pretty well and Matt is super supportive but sometimes you can find me curled in bed with no plans of getting out. Life is just easier there.
3. My house is a pit. For realz. I used to be able to rock small kids and activities and school and cooking meals and keeping the house clean(ish) but I've lost the mo-jo and haven't found it again. Someday...
4. I weigh more than I ever have. I know I should eat better and exercise but seriously, the last time I exercised for weeks straight, I got pneumonia and had to go all the way back to Go without collecting my $200. It's hard to overcome.
5. I want to go back to school but I have no idea what to major in. I absolutely love to learn but I'm a procrastinator and tend to self-sabotage. That isn't a good combination.
6. I judge when I see what I think is bad parenting. I'm no one to be doing any judging but it's one topic that I'm sensitive about. If you take your child to a tanning booth or let your sick child play in the rain while under-dressed while you huddle down in a warm sweatshirt or smoke in a closed up car, I will judge you. I won't necessarily be right, but I'll be worrying about your child.
7. I would have a terrible potty mouth if it weren't for the little ears in my house. They keep me honest.
I'm sure there's plenty more but these little gems popped to mind. None of it is important in the grand scheme of things but sometimes I'm afraid to tell you...
Blah blah blah by Amanda at 3:33 PM