Monday, June 04, 2012

It's June 4th and I Can Finally Wear White Pants...

We've been spending a lot of time at the beach these past two weeks.  We live in a beach community but I never ever EVER go to the main tourist beach on purpose between Memorial Day and Labor Day. There are just SO many people there with more people. So in the summer if we feel like getting sand in crevices that usually go sandless, we go to the secret locals beach or the military beach. BUT my darling children and husband decided that it would be a fantastic idea to sign up for a sand soccer tournament in June so of course they felt that they needed to hold practices at the beach thus the spending of a lot of time there lately. I lived near the beach as a kid and have fond memories of the smell of coppertone and the ocean. I love walking for miles on the beach searching for shells and sea glass. People watching is A-MA-ZING. The first couple of times we were at the beach recently, I had these fond memories floating back. I might have even enjoyed myself. We've quickly come to the MOM AT THE BEACH level of annoyance though. It is nearly impossible to enjoy any time at the beach since I must first get through this list of horrors:
  • Parking.  WHERE are we going to park?  How much will it cost?  GAH THE PARKING.  How far will we have to walk? Meter? Lot? AAAAAAAH.
  • Sunscreen.  Is Skyler screened?  Did she get her face?  Did I bring the super-sensitive-his-skin-will-freak-out block for Zack?  Did I ninja attack Matt with sunscreen so he doesn't get melanoma on his forehead?  How long until they each need block again?  DAMN IT I forgot to spray myself. x infinity for however long we're there.
  • Skyler:  There is sand in my bathing suit and I have to pee x infinity until the end of time
  • Zack: I'm hot but I won't go near the water so I'm cranky, also feed me.
  • Big Daddy:  Huh?
Really! - it makes it hard to enjoy one minute of our time down there and we're going to  be there with 900 of our closest soccer teams next week.  900 teams x however many people they each have.  Why was this considered a good idea?  Oh yeah, cause Mom will take care of everything and if we're the slightest bit uncomfortable in anyway we'll just whine to her and she'll take care of everything even if she did just walk 3 miles to the bathroom with me and I have to go again. She's nuts if she thinks her suggestion of peeing in the ocean is going to fly.

Wish me luck,


Orange = sarcasm 


  1. I am originally from Southern Florida and I can relate!

  2. I love that you color code your sarcasm!! :)

  3. Charlene - that started a few years ago on a board I'm a member of. Some of us weren't getting each other's sarcasm so we designated orange a color for sarcasm. Sometimes we'll even write on fb:

    comment blah blah commment

    ^ orange

    and we'll all know what the other is talking about. Inside internet humor amuses me.


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