Wednesday, February 16, 2011


{insert apologies for being gone so long here}

Yesterday afternoon I composed (in my head) a witty snarky post all about my recent medical issues and how being mis-diagnosed is a real bitch and looky it wasn't THIS all along it was really THIS and now I'm going to be cured and live happily ever after and then another test result came back as ambiguous so I dove down into a pit of tears and despair and can't even get beyond the feeling of being sorry for myself today.

I'm sure that none of THAT makes a whole lot of sense but just know that I'm not feeling any better than I did a year ago and I'm seeing a new doctor and he's not convinced of anything and most surely not convinced that I should have taken a year's worth of chemotherapy drugs and is sucking my blood and running a million tests and nothing is making that "DING DING DING" sound that I so desperately want to hear.

So if you happen to know me IRL and see me curled up in the fetal position rocking and sucking my thumb, it's self-defense.  I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...  then again other people have it so much worse.  I can't even be happy with my self-pity.

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