Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Show Me Your Venn...

I still get hundreds of hits per day from all over the world looking for a picture of a blank Venn diagram.  They hit my still most popular post to date "Next Week Calculus".   I so enjoy it and got to wondering what all those Venn diagrams that people are making look like.  So I'm asking, if you hit here and you make a Venn Diagram, email it to me at amanda at 4 molnars dot com and I'll post some of my favorites.

Here's the blank again:

Here are some that were ganked from the internet (actually they are mostly from GraphJam) that make me laugh:

For my nerdy friends:

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

When Soccer and The Hunger Games Collide...

Do you ever experience a time when all your random thoughts come crashing together in one terrible nightmare? Let me explain where I'm going.

Last week I went to see The Hunger Games with a group of girlfriends. We had a fantastic time and enjoyed seeing the movie together. All but one of us had read the book and we were all still on the edges of our seats and gasping in suspense throughout the movie.

We have 90,000 bazillion things piling up with soccer in the coming week. We keep having games rained out and they must be made up so they just get piled together. This coming weekend should be awesome. I keep worrying about whether I'm keeping all the parents informed correctly and whether I'm getting all the information from the coaches and the league that I need.  I keep a super detailed Life Planner (by Erin Condren zomg LOVE) and a team webpage through Shutterfly and I just hope that I've got it all right.

Lately I've been having panic attacks at night, right around 3am.  It's a hoot let me tell you.  My brain isn't relaxing, it's worrying while I'm sleeping.  Thanks brain, you're full of awesomesauce.

Anyhoo, last night Zack heard me yelling "Help!  Help!  Help!" in my sleep. I was dreaming that our younger soccer team was in a Hunger Games type battle and there was tons of blood and hunting and viciousness.  I was on a roof-top yelling for help. Zack shook me to wake me up at which point I had that gasping nightmare recovery. It was 3:30. I eventually fell back to sleep but was awake again around 4:45 and then the next hour was all tossing and turning. I was a mess by the time my alarm went off.

There has been a copious amount of coffee this morning and I still can't get the image of my little 9yo soccer players fighting each other to the death out of my head. Yikes.

orange is for sarcasm

Monday, March 26, 2012

Some Things Change and Others Stay the Same...(profound non?)

I was just checking my Stat-Counter...stats, and noticed that just recently someone read this old post of mine.

This was about 2 1/2 years ago. The good news is that Zack finally figured out that I'm the tooth fairy, the bad news is that I still have to pull his teeth. He's almost eleven and he still needs Mom to pull out his teeth. Now he just looks at it for a minute, hands it back to me and opens his hand for a dollar.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign...

Sign #436 that I need to lose weight:  I tried to put on a bracelet that I used to wear everyday and it is too small.

FINE Universe!  I get it.  I have fat wrists now?  FML.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Southern Hospitality at its Finest...

Words I said to Matt yesterday: "I have a blog and I'm not afraid to use it!!!!!"

Imagine ^ those words said all ragey and indignant about being wronged.

Long before we were married, Matt and I made the agreement that he would handle all things car related and I would handle all things laundry related.  We have both mostly failed at this agreement.  He leaves car things until they are a desperate situation and the entire family picks clothes out of laundry baskets every morning.  We fail.

My car is a bit past its inspection date.  This is an ongoing problem for me.  I have been driving for about twenty years so...(uses fingers to calculate)...yeah I've had this problem for about twenty years.  I purchased this car in the month of October if that tells you anything.  I am driving a distance this weekend and Matt implored me to just drop the vehicle off at the car dealership next to my office.  They could do the inspection and I could pick the vehicle up after work.  I wouldn't have to wait, which I hate and it would have a shiny new inspection sticker so I wouldn't get a nother ticket.  I bitched and moaned and complained.

The thing is, I HATE dealing with car shit.  I feel that every car related person is out to get me.  They see a vagina walk in and they are ready to fleece me for everything I own and how would I know anything differently?  Also, I kid you not, I have had to have my husband call car people on numerous occasions and they totally change their tune with me standing right there.  R.A.G.E. 

SO.  I drive into the car dealership service area and go inside and begin "the process". *EYE ROLL*  The woman filling out the paperwork says "Oh you have a Volkswagon?  Why don't you take it to the Volkswagon dealership?".  See?  We're starting already.  I ask "It's just a state inspection sticker and you're closer to my office, does it matter?"  She admits that no it doesn't matter.  MmmmHmmmm.   So we go back inside and she passes me off to another gentleman, my new bff (insert sarcasm here) Lamar.  He immediately asks why I don't take it to the Volksgwagon dealership.  WTF?  Then he asks me where I bought the car.  WHY DOES THIS MATTER?  I'm super suspicious and ask if it matters where I purchased the vehicle if they are just doing a state inspection.  Nope, doesn't matter.  I say, "I leave work at 4:00, that's four hours, is that enough time to take care of this?"  Oh yes of course.  I'm thinking "ya think?".  Then I request that they call me with any issues right away because I  "must leave at 4:00 I have to pick up my children."  I am assured that this isn't a problem.

I return at 4:00 and Lamar immediately tells me that my car failed inspection.  I try to joke around telling him that that couldn't be because my car is fabulous and no one called me to tell me anything different.  He isn't impressed and tells me that I need two tires that will cost over $400.  I tell him that that is a ridiculous price and what are my options.  He tells me that the prices here aren't the cheapest so he can fail the car and give me 15 days to correct it.  Fine, do that. I'll get the tires elsewhere.  I know we didn't pay that much the last time I needed tires.   He says that he'll try to get someone to do the paperwork soon.  I ask that they please hurry as I have children waiting to be picked up.  He says "sorry" meaning he's sorry I have kids.

I'm furious.  I have to CALL MY HUSBAND and relay all of my fury to him.  I hate that I know that he will call the service manager and he will make it all better.  I hate that he needs to.  I hate that it takes another half-hour and then I have to pitch a hissy fit at the cashier counter for them to get my keys NOW.  I hate that after getting my keys the manager races after me to the parking lot yelling "Mrs. Molnar wait, I just talked to your husband on the phone.  We're going to handle this.  Let me look at some other pricing and we'll call you."  I hate this.  I tell him that I am not angry that my car failed, that I understand that that is not their fault.  I am angry that they didn't call me during the four hours they had my vehicle.  That they had my vehicle for four hours and still couldn't get it to me quickly, that I had to wait another half-hour for a sticker.  He apologizes profusely and I drive off.  I hate this.

Of course the manager's manager calls Matt back and apologizes up one side of him and down the other.  They are so sorry for how I was treated.  They want to make it up to us.  This isn't the way they typically handle service.  The reality is, this is the way that car service is for women.  This is the way I am typically treated when I attempt to get something serviced with my car.  They did call my husband back and did not attempt to solve the issue until he called.

I know I'm all loosey goosey with the blog privacy and I'm going to go full tilt here and name names.  I hear friends complain of the same thing.  Women whose husbands are deployed are always left in this same predicament.  I think social media has power and it should be used for good.  The dealership/service center I will not ever use again is Southern Auto Group, Jeep.  #drivingsouthern and here's their FB page.
ps - while I was bitching here - their automated system called and asked if I was happy with my service yesterday.  HA.  I said no and now they have said they will have a manager call me.  Whatevs.  Call Matt, he's the only one you're going to respond to.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Partial Thai...

I read this great blog written by Alice who has tons of fantastic adventures that she sometimes posts pictures about.  Sometimes, when pictures aren't available, Alice will attempt to explain the situation via MS Paint, hilarity ensues.

Last week Alice wrote about "what to expect from a thai massage" and I nearly peed my pants.  In order for me to continue my post you must go and read Alice's post.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.






Okay, so last Friday I ran the kids around to two appointments and then delivered them to their schools that are nowhere near each other and then found myself with a few hours between my own appointments.  I stopped in at the closest Panera and had coffee and a bagel.  I was flipping through The Calendar where I discovered an unused gift card for my fav massage place.  I called and asked if they had an opening and made an appointment for an hour later (riveting stuff so far huh?).  This particular massage place is a school where you can have a massage with a recent graduate for really cheap.  I've always had the best massages there because they are trying new techniques and generally still love their jobs.

So I arrive and am told that my masseuse was a man named Chris.  Fantastic.  Chris is very nice and off we go.  I'm face down and Chris is massaging my back, neck and arms and at one point this happens:

Image by Alice at

ALL I could think about was Alice's blog and OMG what the fuck? What if THIS happens?

Image by Alice at
I was alternately horrified and trying to keep from laughing out loud and then also attempting to roll with it.  Thankfully I did not get the "full" thai massage and was only subjected to the climbing-on-top-of rather than the forced-full-body-back-bend.  Once I could relax my fear of being bent in half and having my boobs flail out from the sheet, I actually enjoyed my massage and left feeling rejuvenated.  I spent the rest of the day giggling over the possibility that life could imitate art.  Thank you Alice and Chris.  You definitely made my day interesting.

For more of Alice's adventures rendered in MS Paint, I recommend "like any of you didn't know", "paintings of the pole volume: real life", and "the wrong way to use caffeine".

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Running Away...

I'm here I'm here.  I didn't have much constructive to say lately (despite all the blog posts I compose in my head) so I didn't say anything at all.  I feel as though this wacky weather has us all in limbo, is it warm, is it cold, will it rain?  How much of the coughing that my coworker is doing is spewing her germs into the air that I breath?  None of this makes for good blog conversation.  My stress and anxiety levels were so high last week, that Thursday evening, while reviewing the calendar for the weekend with Matt, I gave a big sigh and told him that I wish I could just drop it all and fly home to see my Mom for a weekend. 
The Schedule
He asked why I didn't do just that and five minutes later found a flight that left the very next morning.  I called my mother at 10pm to ask if I could come visit and said I would call her back with confirmation.  Then Matt asked me to assure her that this impromptu trip wasn't because I was running away from my family, but from my family's calendar of events.  She did appreciate the clarification as she doesn't typically get a 10pm phone call requesting a reservation at the Inn for the next day.

After delivering the children to the places they each needed to be on Friday morning, I took off, in a t-shirt and flip-flops, for the airport.  I had not a care in the world.  I got my own row of seats.  I read my book.  I dosed off.  When I got to New York I was able to hop on an earlier flight (after putting on warmer clothes ;) ).  I managed to arrive outside at the shuttle service in Boston at the exact moment when the driver of the bus I needed was closing the door.  I arrived where I needed to be much earlier than expected.  It was heaven.  My Mom fed me a delicious dinner and then tucked me into her bed for the night by 7pm.

The next morning I awoke to the smell of blueberry muffins in the oven, my favorite blueberry muffins.  Yum.  We dawdled over coffee and then decided to drive two hours to the mega yarn shop Webs.  You certainly can't drive two hours with the intent to go yarn shopping and nothing else with children in tow.  We were wowed by the selection and spent hours, yes hours, browsing and squishing and chatting with other crafters.  Then we had a wonderful lunch in a delightful pub and headed for home.  We watched some Downton Abbey while beginning new crafts and then I went to bed early again.

Webs Stash
More blueberry muffins for breakfast and then I had to check in on my little niece and nephews.  They are the best hug givers ever.  
Miss Chloe
Me and Noah
Bryce and Me

Later that evening, it was home again home again jiggety-jig.  Again, because I was flying alone, I hopped an earlier flight and made it home in time to watch the end of the Oscars with Matt.

Why can't I do this every weekend?

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