Monday, March 25, 2013

Splitting the Hairs of Victory...

I have a sports related question that has been bugging me for a bit and I sort of need an answer but the answer may be a matter of opinion.  I don't speak sports really well so I'm going to attempt to explain the situation to you and then I'm going to throw in a poll and see what the majority opinion is mmmkay?

Okay here are the facts that are in no way being disputed, you need to know them to answer the question:

A couple of weeks ago Skyler's soccer team was in a travel tournament.  There were five teams in their bracket.  The winner of the bracket was determined by points.  Each team was given 3 points for a win, 1 point for a tie, and 0 points for a loss.

Our Team (can I get a woot woot?):
1st game - 3 points
2nd game - 3 points
3rd game - 3 points

Other Team:
1st game - 1 point
2nd game - 1 point
3rd game - 3 points

So - going into the 4th and final game we had 9 points and they had 5.  Even if we lost the game, we won 1st place in the tournament.  Follow me so far?

We lost the game.  We earned 9 points.  They earned 8.  No arguments there.  Our girls got their first place medals, their girls got their second place medals.

Later one of the parents from the other team said "Well that's nice for your girls, but at least we're undefeated."

Aside from it being an assholeish thing to say which is soccer parenting 101, it's been rattling around in my brain and I can't quite see the logic, wouldn't by definition of not having won all their games and not having won the tournament indicate that they had been defeated?  According to the dictionary, to defeat is to overcome in battle, it doesn't say anything like "yeah well we didn't technically win in points but we didn't technically lose a game so we're undefeated"  Or in sports, must you actually lose a game or games, not tie, in order to be defeated? 

Was The Other Team UNdefeated?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Death to DLS...

Daylight savings time can go die a slow firey death. I hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that we've all been a hot mess this week. Everyone is tired and irritated and grumpy. No one wants to get up in the morning but somehow we're all wide awake after dinner. I'd like to just stick with the natural progression of light that the tilting of the earth offers thankyouverymuch.

As I was posting pictures from outdoor soccer to FB last week, my Aunt Shelly commented "I thought you just celebrated the end of indoor soccer on Monday, don't you guys take a break" and the answer as you all know is "No". What would we do with ourselves if every single day of the week weren't somehow taken up with some form of soccer? Skyler has big plans for college, her current desire is to go to Yale because my friend Sarah went there and for some reason Skyler is enamored with the idea of this school. So this kid has got to get a soccer scholarship (I don't even know if Yale has a soccer team never mind whether they give scholarships).  She also plans to be on the Women's National Soccer Team, I'm not sure if that's a back-up to college or if Yale is a back-up to soccer, but she's got big plans.  She told Matt that she wasn't going to make the team if she didn't keep advancing.  Her idol is Abby Wambach

She has an Abby Wambach sweatshirt that her brother gave her that she wears, even to bed if I don't catch her first.  I have to confiscate it to throw it in the wash.

eating Indian food in her AW sweatshirt

AW shirt.  Missing AW shorts.
 She's pretty badass so it's not entirely unpossible (i know that isn't a word, it's internet speak peeps).


Coming for you

She'll go through you if she has to

Zack is playing goalkeeper and still loves it!  He's a joy to watch.  The parents all yell "ZACK SAYS NO" as he blocks the balls. 

His idol is Hope Solo which makes me proud.  I love that he can look to a woman as a leader in his sport.

So as much as I complain that I'm exhausted by Sunday, and that we have soccer on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays, we're all having a blast and for the nerdy readers like me out there, Malcolm Gladwell did say in The Outliers that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert at anything (further broken out to be 20 hours per week for 10 years).  We have great soccer friends and family and I couldn't think of a better way to spend our time (someone remember to quote me when I'm bitching that I can't get to two soccer fields at the same time).  Now if only all that pesky shit like laundry and housecleaning and homework would do itself, we'd be golden. 

I leave you with this question.  How does a house get so damn filthy when we're only home and awake for a couple of hours a day?  Are there little filth gremlins racing around partying when we aren't home?

Monday, February 25, 2013

My Crippling Social Anxiety is a Great Conversation Starter...

I've mentioned a time or two before that I have what I like to call Phone Phobia.  It's mostly just my ha ha funny way of dealing with the fact that I have social anxiety.  I'm quite sure that I've always had it, as a kid it was just that I was shy and would rather read a book than talk to someone.  In all reality I was terrified to have a random conversation with someone that I either didn't know or someone that I did know but that I'd have to make small talk with.  I still distinctly remember an instance when I was around the age of 4 or 5 when I was in an ice cream shop with my family and I thought my Mother was standing right next to me so I tugged on her arm to point to a flavor and I looked up and it was a (likely) sweet little old lady who said something like "oh dear, your Mother is right there".  I still remember feeling like I wanted to hide in a hole and die from embarrassment just from speaking to a stranger.  Email and the internet and texting have been wonderful tools to help me get by instances when I would otherwise choose not to engage with someone.  I can write an email or letter like no body's business (just ask any of a wide range of people from either of the kids' schools ;) )  My comfort level with various social events has no rhyme or reason.  I might be looking forward to something for months and then the day comes and the anticipation ramps up to an epic level that ends with me missing that event and hibernating in bed instead.  It's hard to explain and it's hard to admit and it's often a pain in the ass.  Mostly it's just some wacky bit of brain chemicals that aren't quite right.

I had a rough week last week.  I'm not sure if the chemicals in my body were off, if it was the seemingly minor stressful situation at work that had me on edge, or if the stars were aligned just enough to make me way crazier than usual (I can say that ;) ).  I felt out of sorts and exhausted and crabby and sad and like if I could just climb in bed and pull the blankets over my head and stay there forever I'd be content.  If you were my husband, you'd want to fix it and not know how.  If you were my kid you'd probably wonder why Mom would rather play games from her hibernation hole than downstairs like a normal person.  If you were part of my Bunco group, you'd notice that I didn't show up, backing out at the last minute.

By Thursday I was exhausted from feeling so anxious and I fell asleep around 6pm thinking I'd just doze for a few minutes while Matt took the kids to do their things.  I didn't wake up again for 17 hours (Friday is my day off to "get things done").  I didn't just doze in and out and wake and go back to sleep, I was unconscious.  My brain and body were exhausted.  The remainder of the weekend was slightly better and I kept things light and related to soccer, things I could handle.

I have a therapist and joke that I'm crazy but really I have social anxiety and lots of other people have it too.  It's painful and shameful and uncomfortable.  There isn't an easy answer or an easy fix.  If you're my friend or family member, just go with the flow.  I might be perfectly comfortable with something one time and not willing to deal with it another. You never can tell.  If I'm there, I'm probably fine.  If I'm not, it just isn't going to happen and we'll all move on.

I can't pick just one:

Mine actually does say this!
Oh and no need to worry about me.  I find that putting stuff out there makes other people feel less alone and eventually helps you too.  The more I share, the more people I find that are just like me (scary isn't it?).



(p.s. How does Blogger not recognize texting as a verb yet?)

Thursday, February 07, 2013

The Smell of Victory...

Both kids had soccer games last night (and won) so we were at our home away from home, the inside soccer fields,  for a couple of hours.

Skyler played as fiercely as she usually does, coming off the field sweaty and slimy and all banged up from the boys that she plays with.  She and two of her female teammates from her regular team, are playing an age group up for a coed team that needed players.  At first we were nervous that they'd be outsized and outplayed with boys a full year older than they are, but these girls are kicking ass and taking names and I love every minute of watching it.

Zack's team has been having a bit of a rough season.  He usually plays goalie, that's his comfort zone because homeboy does not enjoy running, but his coach decided to get him some field time last night and he rose to the occasion.  This age group plays pretty rough, slamming each other against the walls when necessary and fighting like mad for the ball.  At one point I noticed that the opposing player in Zack's position was a girl (which I think is fantastic, the longer girls play with boys the better for them); my first thought was a conflicted "I hope he doesn't hurt her/I hope he doesn't hold back because she's a girl".  Then I saw him eat turf.  Their feet got caught up and he went down getting a nice road rash along his forearm.  I continued watching with my breath held a bit, she's tough, she's going to try it again.  My boychild is, let's say stout, running into him is a bit like hitting a brick wall, you're going to bounce, and bounce she did.  I wouldn't have felt bad for a boy, so I tried not to feel bad for her and she got up and kept at it.  I was proud of him for not giving it to her easy because she's a girl, and I was proud of her for keeping up with the boys and not being intimidated by their size.  After the game, I talked to Zack about his altercations with her and asked "Did you take it easy on her because she's a girl?" and he answered quite disgusted with me "NO! ...but...she smelled nice.  Like fruit."

The lesson I suppose is that girls are just as tough as opponents but the experience of doing battle is a made a whole lot nicer by their lack of stank de teen boy.  I suppose I'd rather slam into a nice fruit scent than the scent of goalie gloves.  Have you ever smelled goalie gloves?  You could wage war with that smell.

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Little Regrets...

I had some intense feels-real dreams last night starring a lot of old friends from high school and I woke up thinking about my last post, 2012 End of Year Questionnaire and got a little gaspy over question 4 "Did anyone close to you die?" and the fact that I answered "No".  And then I had a whole conversation with myself that the person wasn't close to me in recent years but that his death did hit me pretty hard and that it was totally douchey that I didn't even think of it when the question came up.  I'm going to go ahead and give myself a pass.  Things hit us when they hit us.

This past year, in January, my friend Kris was killed. Kris was the person I knew the longest in my hometown; the person who I was still friends with as I graduated high school although we had met in fourth grade.  Sure, I knew other kids, but I didn't still hang out with them after all those years; friendships evolve.  We didn't stay in contact after college, jobs, marriage,  kids, except for that thing we all love to waste time on and complain about, facebook.  Yes facebook is generally the cause of any rant I may have on any given day, but you can't deny that it's the best tool available for keeping in touch with distant friends when you all move to far corners of the world.  It was also the way in which all of us, Kris' huge legion of devoted fans, were able to contact each other and share the details of his death.  I think we all needed to reunite in that way.

Kris was a wonderful wonderful person and I'm still deeply sorry that he isn't alive on this earth somewhere bringing happiness to those around him.  I'm also deeply sorry that he didn't pop to mind when I filled out my stupid end of year questionnaire, but today he got more than a passing thought.  He got a trip down my memory lane and I'm glad for that.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

2012 End of Year Questionaire...

It was my intention to do this on Monday, before 2012 ended, but I didn't get on the computer and... well as usual I'm at least a day late and a dollar short. 

Answers to previous years are here: 2008, 2009, 2010 (did I miss a year?), 2011

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
I'm stumped and searching through my calendar for inspiration for this one.  NEVER?  Well I'd never been to a sand soccer tournament and we spent a weekend doing that in June.  It's never taken 17 hours for us to drive home for a visit before and we checked that off the list.  I've never had a middle schooler but Zack became one in September.  I didn't actually seek out a never done and check it off all bucket list style though.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't tend to make resolutions because I'm a self-saboteur - I'll promptly jack that up just because I can. 

OH, I did decide that I am no longer in charge of what anyone else in the house wears to a soccer game or if they arrive there late due to their own dilly dallying and lack of preparation.  I'm the only one in the house that doesn't have to be wearing anything in particular when she shows up at the field, so why was I the one with all the stress?  I did keep this "resolution" and hunting down uniforms and cleats and shin guards is not my problem.  There have been mixed results, but I'm not stressed about it.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I don't think so.  I'm thinking of all the babies here and there and they're all pre-2012s.  I'm looking forward to a friend giving birth next month.  She's still debating the name with her hubby so baby can't be born anytime soon.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

5. What countries did you visit?
None.  :(

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?
a waist
7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Let's see...
January 3rd Skyler was diagnosed with the chicken pox despite having had the vaccination.  That was fun.

February 3rd BOTH kids got braces (buh bye all my money)

March 24 - I attended the Reason Rally in Washington DC with friends Shelli, Carrie and Sarah.  That was loads of fun.

April 3rd I got pneumonia (oh joy oh joy)

May 6th Skyler's soccer team won their end of season tournament

July 21st Skyler was in our friends' Mike & Melissa's wedding

September 4th Zack was an official middle schooler

September 8th my cousin Amie married her love Jared

November 6th - GOBAMA!!!!

November 10th two of my fav people Lisa and Frank tied the knot

December 3rd I got pneumonia for the second time

December 14th broke my heart.

December 30th Skyler broke my nose with an impressive accidental knee strike
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Acclimating Zack and I to middle school - it was not without drama or stress.

This isn't my personal achievement but one for Matt and Skyler - they won one first place and four second place medals in soccer. I'm ridiculously proud of them.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The usual - keeping my house anything resembling neat and tidy

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh of course I did.  If you've been around longer than three minutes you know I'm a hot mess.  In addition to the two bouts of pneumonia and the broken nose, there was the ever present arthritis and anxiety and I'm sure more than a few cold viruses to keep things nicely rounded out.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I have to say I lurve my iPhone.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Matt's, 2012 was his year.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Yes, but let's just not mention it again.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Bills, soccer, gifts

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The Presidential election, watching my kids play soccer.  I've always loved watching Sky play, but this year there's an intense spark to her that is a complete joy to watch.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?
Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen definitely
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
b) thinner or fatter?
c) richer or poorer?

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
20. How did you spend Christmas?
We had so many wonderful holiday gatherings this year.  We were definitely thankful for so many friends and family to celebrate with.  We spent the entire time with huge smiles on our faces.
21. Did you fall in love in 2012?

22. What was your favorite tv show?
Big Bang Theory, HOMELAND (ZOMG SO GOOD), Elementary

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't think so.  Hate feels too strong.  I might have moments of hate, but nothing permanent.
24. What was the best book you read?
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Here are some more bookish thoughts

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Lumineers

26. What did you want and get?
I wanted less stress surrounding soccer and I got that for myself.

27. What did you want and not get?
I wanted better health, as always that's something I'm working on.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
50/50 - I think I saw that for the first time in 2012 and it became an instant fav.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to a friend's wedding rehearsal and dinner, it was lovely.  I was 29 +9.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Better health

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

32. What kept you sane?
Happy pills

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Neil Degrasse Tyson

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
All of them - election years get me completely spun up.
35. Who did you miss?
My Mom
36. Who was the best new person you met?
A whole pile of new peeps entered our lives - Skyler's new soccer team family - LOVE them.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012?
You can't please everyone, in fact you shouldn't even try.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I couldn't quote a song lyric period.  I'm going to have to rewrite this quiz for next year.  Music throws me every time.

Happy 2013 - I think it's going to be awesome!

If you would like to take the questionnaire and post it on your blog, I'd love to read your answers. Post me a linky wouldja?
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